Was so sore especially on my upper back. I think it comes from the frustration that up until now, I wasn’t able to get much date. I wonder what blocks it. Hopefully I’ll find out tomorrow with Raeeka.

I’m grateful for a good yoga session. I’m grateful for beetroot latte. I’m grateful for my Thermomix. I’m grateful for my internet. I’m grateful for the warmth in my apartment.

I was given a box of chocolate from my client. She said she loves all nurses but I am exceptional. I’m very touched though I didn’t think I’ve done anything extra for her. I must admit I have this nasty thought coming up that she said this to every nurse! Argh! Why did I have to have this thought?! Why couldn’t I just think that’s right, I’m bloody exceptional! My habit brain is so nasty. I’m gonna change it.

I’m grateful for a good working day. I’m grateful for my colleagues. I’m grateful for my clients. I’m grateful for the chanting tonight. I’m grateful for myself.

I finally bought some stuff for my man. A shaver, shave cream and after shave cream. I choose good quality ones just like what I’d do for myself. I also cleared out some space in my wardrobe for my man. I noticed once I bought the stuff, I’m a lot more committed to finding him. I identify myself as a quality woman who easily attracts quality men.

I’m grateful for having a good working day. I’m grateful for my healing ability. I’m grateful for my body. I’m grateful for going to bed on time. I’m grateful for my SC.

Opened Facebook and saw some good news from my irresistible women group. I couldn’t help but feel a bit jealous. It’s stupid really as she’s worked very hard. I find I have this tendency to think she didn’t choose a very quality man but really, what do I know?! I don’t know her and maybe he’s a quality man. It’s my ego talking. I now choose to look at it as a sign that if she can do it, so can I.

I’m grateful for my SC. I’m grateful for a clean apartment. I’m grateful for my strong body. I’m grateful for my hearing. I’m grateful for myself.

I’m self assured and confident. I’ll be fine no matter what. I love my life. I take good care of myself.

I successfully resolved a could be complaint. I finished all clients they threw at me. I made pita chips.

I’m grateful for my working oven. I’m grateful for my meditation. I’m grateful for podcasts. I’m grateful for my hearing. I’m grateful for finishing work on time.

What can I bring into a relationship? Hmmm, good question. I’m thinking stability, calmness, love, commitment. I don’t avoid conflict. I like to work things out. I’m very resilient. I’m mature. I combine two cultures. I’m a good listener. I work on myself. I don’t rely on others. I have my own life. I have a good coach.

I’m grateful for having a full time job. I’m grateful for an easy day. I’m grateful for my healthy body. I’m grateful for my SC. I’m grateful for myself.

You are enough just as you are. Stop overthinking. Dating for growth.

Had a good group coaching call today. I’m glad I decided to take a day off to look after myself. I’m the most important person in my life after all. I need to look after myself. Besides, no one is gonna die because I don’t go to work. Also, I wanna be in this coaching call! It’s more important than job.

Had a quick chat with Zac this evening. I’m happy with how I asked him questions. I’m also happy that I didn’t get too attached that he didn’t ask me questions. I just shared myself anyway. I’m dating for growth. However, before we said good night, he called me Babe. Argh. I must tell him not to as it’s making me uncomfortable.

I dreamt of Hugh Jackman last night. I believe it’s a good message from my SC as I always see Hugh and his wife as my ideal couple. And I remember my dream! SC is really listening to me. Thank you.

I’m going to ask the same question again about guiding me find my husband and dissolve the lump.

I’m grateful for a good coaching call. I’m grateful for my SC. I’m grateful for my ability to detach from the outcome. I’m grateful for my ability to read. I’m grateful for having food.

I’m so sore all over especially my jaws. Just taking it easy today.

Went have hot pot with Vivian and Penny and surprisingly, I had a good time. Penny is actually very nice. I think it’s also because I’m a lot more relaxed now. People can always surprise me in good ways.

Started chatting with a new man.

Zac- a head chef in fancy restaurant. Recently single. Not looking for anything serious. Normally I wouldn’t match with men says that in profile but somehow I swiped right on him. He did initiated the conversation which is good. When I responded with no follow up questions, he actually came up with a questions. We had a nice chat and he quickly asked if I have time to meet. I thought about tomorrow but then I thought, why the rush! I said Monday and he agreed.

I googled him and found his ex is very very different from me! My habit brain started to have a party. I shut her up and said there’s a reason they broke up. There’s a reason he swiped right on me and initiated the conversation. I’m who I am and there’s no point comparing myself to this woman I don’t know. And I’m dating for growth anyway.

I’m grateful for myself. I’m grateful for Vivian and Penny. I’m grateful for my body’s healing power. I’m grateful for the Internet. I’m grateful for a warm apartment.

Went to another dive and I was still nervous although less than last time. Just need more practice. I noticed all the symptoms of dry mouth and drowsy are caused by my motion sickness tablet! The tablet stop motion sickness true but it makes my diving experience less enjoyable. Need to find a new one to tackle my motion sickness without all the side effects.

After dive, I went to the famous Bam Bam bakery to have brunch. It is nice but I wouldn’t drive all the way just to eat there. I think I’m now less interested in spending money on eating but more interesting in socialising.

After I got home, I had a quick nap then went out again to dance. I notice if it’s something I really like, I’ll do it regardless. I was so tired after the dive but I still went dancing. I’m proud of myself!

I think up until now, I haven’t found any fun in dating and that’s why I couldn’t commit to it. Yoga, diving or dancing make me feel very good. I love the feeling after doing these activities. But dating, I sometimes felt shitty after a date. Maybe because I focused too much on whether this man is going to be my husband. I am going to start to enjoy the ride of getting to know someone. Not thinking about the outcome.

I ask my SC tonight to dissolve the lump and guide me find my husband.

I’m grateful for my strong body. I’m grateful for my reliable car. I’m grateful for my SC. I’m grateful for the dance tonight. I’m grateful for a good night sleep.

SC talked to me in my dream. I still have lots of fear about finding the man. Maybe fear of if I can handle it. Fear of change. In my dream, I was running away from someone and I think that someone is my husband. I think Jenny is also in my dream.

The sore on my buttock is gone. The lump still there. I think it’ll take a while but I believe SC can dissolve eventually.

Tonight I’m asking SC again to guide me find my husband and dissolve the lump.

I’m grateful for my SC. I’m grateful for the convenience of living in Brisbane. I’m grateful for the lovely weather. I’m grateful for my able body. I’m grateful for my healthy peace lily.