The incident triggered my fear of abandonment. When I behave in an attacking way, people leave. They do not want to stay to resolve the issue, they simply leave. It’s painful to experience that I don’t deserve to stay and fight for. I was like a piece of junk, once malfunctioned, discarded. No room for fix. What I did was shutting down and functioning as if nothing has happened while the shame eating me alive.

How do I overcome this trauma? People leave not because of me not deserving. People leave because they don’t have the capacity to deal with difficult emotions. They themselves don’t have the capacity to deal their own emotions, let along others. I chose wrong men to have a relationship with.

Today I am practising loving my inner child.

I am grateful for a lovely day for myself.

Today I am amazing.

Change in this area allows me to feel the possibility is endless.

Today I am practising when feeling wronged or abandoned, I tell my inner child that she’ll always have me. I’ll never abandon her.

Today I am practising forgiving myself.

I am grateful for my body.

Today I am compassion.

Change in this area allows me to feel loved.

Today I am practising when feeling shame, I forgive myself.

I’m committed to meditate at least 5 minutes a day.

Today I am practising giving myself space.

I am grateful for my life.

Today I am in control.

Change in this area allows me to feel relaxed.

Today I am practising when feeling triggered, I step back and do nothing.

Today I am practising breathing.

I am grateful for my lungs.

Today I am kind.

Change in this area allows me to feel calm.

Today I am practising when feeling anxious, I breathe.

I find it very triggering when I’m being misunderstood or being accused of things I didn’t do. I’d immediately attack! No mercy whatsoever. I want to prove that I’m right or I simply shut down. I know it goes back to when I was growing up, I was misunderstood or falsely accused many times. I was very scared and angry. How I coped was by shutting down coz no one is going to believe me anyway. I was also forced to lie so I wouldn’t get punished. A lot of anger bubbling up.

Today I am practising parenting my inner child.

I am grateful for the opportunity to parent my inner child.

Today I am safe.

Change in this area allows me to feel heard.

Today I am practising when feeling triggered, I hug my inner child.

Today I am practising loving my inner child.

I am grateful for a great day.

Today I am beautiful.

Change in this area allows me to feel grounded.

Today I am practising when feeling misunderstood, I tell myself that it’s got nothing to do with me.

Today I am practising listening to my inner child. She said she’s disappointed that we still haven’t found the man. However, we only need one.

I am grateful for an easy day.

Today I am wonderful.

Change in this area allows me to feel surrendered.

Today I am practising when feeling disappointed, I tell my inner child that we can do this together.

I’m grateful for my healthy digest system.

I’m grateful for my perfect eyesight.

I’m grateful for running water.

I’m grateful for my able body.

I’m grateful for having money.

Today I am practising soothing my inner child. It’s ok. Everything is ok.

I am grateful for working on myself.

Today I am awesome.

Change in this area allows me to feel in control.

Today I am practising when feeling down, I tell myself that it’s only a phase, I’ll be ok.

Today I am practising clearing up low quality men.

I am grateful for believing that I deserve a committed man.

Today I am empowered.

Change in this area allows me to feel great.

Today I am practising when a man not making any effort, I ruthlessly unmatch him.

Today I am practising listening to my inner child.

I am grateful for a lovely day.

Today I am relaxed.

Change in this area allows me to feel excited.

Today I am practising when feeling anxious, I put my hand on my heart and tell myself everything is ok.